three things and another thing

three things that somehow relate back to my life and one update on musicmaking

1. Smashing Pumpkins, Ava Adore

In my school days I’d make the most embarrassing songs, burn ‘em on a CD-R, then go to school the next day with a Discman knockoff so I could share the embarrassing songs with a few friends. Passed it around like a blunt, the world’s worst kind: amateur music forced upon you by a friend. I was terribly shy and insecure—still am in many ways. So why? How? What did I and everyone else do to deserve this? Was like a zombie stalking the quads but instead of braains! it was support my faantasies!

Remember a foreign exchange student from Argentina(?) listening to one fabled CD-R of mine in science class for a minute or two, taking off the headphones, and telling me I sounded like Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumpkins. There was this vague grin on his face when he said it, and till this day I cannot decide if he was paying me a compliment or giving me shit. ‘Really? Huh...’ All I could say. Deeply wounded and flattered at the same time. Fuck, maybe he was simply stating a fact. I should have stopped making music right then and there, save myself the whole mess that is the rest of my life.

This is maybe minor Smashing Pumps, but I like it; sue me. Been listening to it lately. The video is pretty great, pretty goofy, with Corgan, aka Dork Neo, wandering onto the set of Blade, and James Iha looking like 11-year-old me when mom makes me go to the grocery store. “In you I crash cars” is a good line, too.

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2. Mya, My Love Is Like…Wo

It is the belief of this author that ‘My Love Is Like...Wo’ by Mya should be way more prominent in the New American Pop Songbook that I just made up. Basically anything Timbaland and/or Missy Elliot (who co-wrote/produced this song) touched in the 90s and 00s is my favorite song, just so you know. I love Timbaland. Thom Yorke could never make a sample of a baby or Godzilla sound sexy.

The music video for this song is still one of the hottest. Can’t not be horny after. That’s no hyperbole, I’ve scientific methoded it and it works every time.

Mya’s tap dancing in the third act is as audacious as the f*** sequence in Magnolia. Her performance is so magnetic you don’t even notice how shitty the set is. This is The Mya Show. She chews gum. She changes wardrobe. She fucks your whole shit up. The bouncy zoom-ins are like those old cartoons where the eyeballs shoot out of their sockets.

Which getup is your favorite? Let me know in the comms.

I’m going to stop myself before I start going on and on about Timbaland. My hands they tremble, so eager am I to hype up even Petey Pablo because of his timties. Maybe later…

3. Blade Squad

Wanted to share the work of art that is Blade Squad. For those who are into things ironically or post-ironically, it’s about inline skating rollo-cops with jetpacks, and that’s all you need to know. I’d say it’s only one step up from Tim and Eric’s Cops On Recumbent Bikes in terms of effective policing.

I’ve queued up the video at 25:50 to highlight the level of mastery at play here. They managed to milk a 2-minute ‘action’ sequence out of a couple of dudes rollerblading in a completely straight line, resulting in a Matrix-style slow-mo jump and ending with Kirk Baltz’s you’re-not-getting-shit-from-me-until-the-check-clears performance of ‘ah, no!’ Bonus britpopesque anthem on the soundtrack for your auditory pleasure.

And in all this I wish to live. There’s an angsty woman named JoJo Rider and the bad guy’s called Billy Mustard. I’m surprised the main protagonist isn’t named Bongo Beef, fuckin’ might as well.

‘You wanna drown?, I suggest you don’t bother with shallow water.’

Tarkenton, Blade Squad

And Another Thing…

Six years ago (Jesus…) I shared this on soundcloud:

One of those simple things recorded live a few minutes after coming up with it, and then I never did anything with it. Until now¹.

Only in the preliminary stages. Nothing special, at least not yet. Maybe never. We’ll see how it goes. I recorded hundreds of takes, as usual, so hopefully there will be some treasures excavated. Then a decade to comp something together worth listening to. You’ve heard it all before!

K you’ve heard enough of me for the week. Go live your life. Bye.

tell yer friends to say hi [IRL / substack / instagram / tumblr / letterboxd]
stream the music [spotify / apple]
buy the .wavs & tapes [bandcamp]

1. In the past ~2 years. Vocals were ‘laid all the way the fuck down’ in 2021.